You can own up to the role you played in the breakup.
If you’re still blaming your ex for everything that went wrong in your relationship, you’re not ready to date yet. However, if getting back your treasured, perfectly worn hoodie or epic snow-globe collection is crucial to your sense of well-being, you need to get that sh*t back as soon as possible and You’ve reached the point where you’re no longer constantly talking or thinking about your ex. It’s totally normal to think about your ex and want to talk about the break up after it happens.
When it comes to post-breakup dating, there are two main philosophies: One is that, if you date right after a breakup, you're rebounding, which is unhealthy.
Then there's the whole idea that "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Which is right?
“Defriending” or at least hiding statuses can help you avoid the constant temptation to check in and see if your ex is living a life more miserable — or worse, more awesome — than yours. Don’t key his car, kidnap his cat, or destroy his stuff. The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real.
With every breakup, there’s always this point when you’ve stopped crying and you start to think about dating again.
Now here’s the thing: we live in a culture where we’re encouraged to pull up our bootstraps and ‘get back on the horse,’ so to speak – even when it comes to matters of the heart.
It may just be that not enough time has passed for you to get over him... You are grieving the loss of your relationship and may still need more time to mourn.
Wouldn't it be great if there were quick cures to the "break-up blues"?
How long should you "Most people need a month or two to process the breakup, to mourn, and to integrate lessons before jumping back in if they were in a fairly serious relationship," she says.